A terrible poem about my lack of poetical capabilities.

Should I just hit delete

and remove it from my sight?

Should I instead repeat

written failures of a previous night?


It’s quite contrary when jotting stuff,

its taxing on the brain,

quite frankly it’s real tough

to make this short textual presentation follow a cohesive rhyme scheme and stick within the boundaries of a competent iambic pentameter.


Nailed it.


Frankly, it’s all trial and error

with as much guesswork as is success,

so you can imagine to my terror

the idea of creating a jumbled, grammatical mess


I never did like poetry

and really, for good reason

I mean, what the fuck rhymes with “poetry”

other than that, it’s just never in season


At least as far as I can tell,

Poetical news is hardly my thing,

a channel on that, they do not sell,

it’s something they won’t bring


I don’t know where this is going

which is hardly a surprise,

The only purpose of this thing

was to openly self-criticize


Yes, I said I wanted to diversify

and that is what I shall do

However, as time flies by

I realize; “boo hoo,


I can’t be good at everything

and poetry is my Moriarty,

So to the table I must bring

something a tad less artsy-fartsy”


I haven’t bothered to count the syllables

This disaster was written ironically

I really have no principles

When it comes to poetic quality.


How does one end a poem?

This monstrosity that I’ve created?

Because I can’t think of a word that rhymes with poem.



You’re welcome folks. I really need to do something more productive with my life. For the record, poetry is awesome, and the people who can do it are extremely talented; it’s just that I can’t, and am extremely bitter about it as a direct result.


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