JEREMY CORBYN STANDS FIRM ON BOUNCY CASTLE – The Weekly Rag, Issue 7

By our Political Correspondent

Local parents in a small Islington playground were left baffled this morning as they found their children talking about a strange old man who’d glued himself stuck onto the park’s featured bouncy castle. Upon further inspection, they were alarmed to discover that the man was none other than the current head of the Labour Party; Mr Jeremy Corbyn.

“I’m staying right here, and there’s nothing you can do to change that!”, the Labour leader shouted, as he duct taped himself to the back wall.

actual-labour-hq

The new Labour HQ?

 

The encounter led to a tense standoff as shouting parents and angry children laid siege to the castle. Yet despite being the lone occupant, an intense social media campaign by Mr Corbyn proved successful as the locals were driven back by the power of hashtags and likes.

Numerous complaints were sent in to the local council, who in turn released an official statement.

“Look, we’ve tried everything. Just the other week we took a vote as to whether he was allowed on it or not. Only 17% said yes, yet here he still is!”

“Fact is, we let him have a go the first place, and now he’s just dug his heels in.”

The local branch of Parks and Recreation made their own attempt to remove Mr Corbyn from the inflatable structure. The Weekly Rag caught up with one of their staff.

“I tried reasoning with him, but it’s a no go” she said, sadly. “He’s just going to give himself, his party, and the playground a bad name. ParkCon 2020 is not going to be impressed.”

Upon request, Jeremy Corbyn’s press team was unable step onto the bouncy castle to remove him, as in their own words it was “just too hopelessly overcrowded”.

 

Image taken from: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-36411114

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