By our Religious Correspondent
The collective secular population of the planet Earth were left puzzled and conflicted earlier this week when the Almighty Father, God, released a controversial statement.
“I, the Lord thy God, do not believe in Atheists,” He declared.
The claim led to widespread confusion amongst the Atheistic communities on Earth, with some extreme cases even leading to identity crises.
“How can mirrors be real if my eyes aren’t real?” stammered one such case, a Mr J Smith, from the United States.
Professor Richard Dawkins, a long time militant atheist and anti-religious author brought his usual levels of charm and wit when he waded into the debate.
“Fake god says what?” he said.
The Weekly Rag caught up with one heavenly spokesperson, the Archangel Gabriel, and asked him where this damning stance from God had come from.
“They started it,” he claimed.
Just before The Weekly Rag had gone to press, we learned that some atheists had put together a case and are suing God for slander. Expect more from the God vs. The Unbelievers court battle in the following weeks.